When I think about how life goes I always imagine it as a series of paths, some wide and open with many people on it, some little tracks that have very little traffic.  I thought I could imagine the path that I’m on now, I certainly thought I could see how it was going.

What I had no idea about was where I currently was.  It was a huge surprise when I looked round and took a good look.

As we get closer and closer to our travel date, and more recently our moving out date I’ve begun to see quite how stuck in a rut we’ve been.  To be honest I’m finding it a bit hard to put into words how I am feeling lately.  It’s weird!  I’ll give it a go though…

 It feels a bit like I’ve been living in a valley for, ooh ages.  It’s well populated, there are loads  of people doing just the same as me and enjoying the views from the bottom.   Getting out of the valley is a long hard path, with obstacles and slippery slopes.  Not many attempt to climb out, to see what paths carry on from there.  I imagine there are loads of paths, loads of interesting journeys and I long to explore up there.  I’m not sure I can make the journey though so I go back to looking at the views from the bottom.  I can be happy with the views down here.  Can’t I?

Every so often I look towards the top of the valley an wonder what is over the top.  I even mention it and we half heartedly think about climbing the path.

The valley is comfortable though.  It has all we need, we’re among friends, we fit in.  It’s hard to buck the trend.  And the views are nice, they aren’t horrid, so I can enjoy being here.  There are paths here too, they look nice, easy and safe.  My journey can continue, it doesn’t need to be that path that looks unwalkable.

But there *is* still that one path, still that unknown.  What *is* over the top?  Why can’t I forget about it????

One day we decide that we need to do see it, we need to try.  It will be difficult but we’re all determined.  We plod on, day after day.  It’s boring, and tough, but we keep each other going.  I don’t look back for fear I am tempted to turn round.

Then all of a sudden we’re nearly there.  I can’t see over the ridge yet, but the air is starting to change and I can smell that it’s different.  We’re nearly there!

I can’t help but see where we’ve come from now and it’s a shock to the system.  Not how far we’ve come, or the journey we took to get here, but no, what’s amazing is the size of the valley.  It’s huge and I can understand why I stayed so long.

But the funny thing is, I didn’t feel trapped when I was down in the valley.  I just felt normal, except for the odd glance to the ridge, life went on.  I was happy, but maybe not *alive*.  It’s only now that I am at the top that I can see how stuck I was and how much more there is out there.  And now I do feel different.  I feel excited and scared and hopeful.  I’m excited to see the possibilities over that ridge! 

I can’t wait to see how this story will unfold :)

Kirsty

I'm Kirsty, my family and I spent 2013 on a gap year travelling round Europe in our camper van.We're now back in the UK but still having short adventures and planning the next big one!
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4 comments on “Stuck in a rut

  1. Zoe

    I love this post Kirsty, I love the use of imagery! It gave me goosebumps reading it & I passed it james to read, he enjoyed it too! So excited for you xx

  2. Barbara

    Where is the ‘like’ button? Fab post. So excited for you. Feel like I’m one of the Tank Gang, and you are Nemo escaping from the dentist’s bowl.

  3. Jessica

    Oh yes, I remember this feeling right before we took our sabbatical journey. What I can tell you about the other side of the valley, is that once you have climbed out, you will never again be content to be in the valley again. Yes, you may return to the valley and even find happiness there again, but once you have lived fully each and every day, it’s impossible to go back to the mundane. Thank you for sharing your excitement and reminding me of what it felt like right before we traveled. I’m excited to follow your journey!

  4. Alyson

    I was going to say exactly the same thing as Jessica. Will you ever be able to return to the valley? We moved to a different, more exotic valley on the other side of the world, but it’s still a valley.

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